- Partner from 1993 to 2024 is Ben Daniels. They met during a London stage production of Joe Orton's "Entertaining Mr. Sloane".
- Gelder's husband Ben Daniels stopped working to take care of him, and remarked that he dealt with his "dreadful illness with such bravery".
- He was known for his numerous stage and screen roles, including Mr. Dekker in Torchwood: Children of Earth and Kevan Lannister in Game of Thrones.
- Passed away from bile duct cancer on May 6th, 2024 at the age of 74 years old.
- From May to July 2014 he performed as Marcus Andronicus, brother of Titus, in Lucy Bailey's revival of her original 2006 production of Titus Andronicus at Shakespeare's Globe Theatre.
- He used his mother's maiden name as his stage surname,.
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